


Pointing to the Stars

by Enbyparty



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gem Fusion, Guilt, Internalized Homophobia, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 15:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20978114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enbyparty/pseuds/Enbyparty
Summary: Set right after Change Your Mind.Blue and Yellow Diamond are dealing with their new understandings of the world, and their new understanding of each other.Angst.Exploring their feelings about the past, fusion, their love.And hopefully more fluff and smut in the next chapters. (I meant to write smut in chapter 1 so that proves how little control I have over my text!)





	Pointing to the Stars

Blue flashed onto the warp pad.

  
‘Yellow?’ she called, looking out at the planet she stood on. ‘Are you there?’

  
She took a few steps each way but she saw nothing. She stepped back on the warp pad, closed her eyes, and hesitated. She wanted to see Yellow. And she didn’t want to return to Earth, where White would be waiting. Even the new White, who was ready to listen, was not what she wanted right now.

  
She lay down on the cold floor of the control room, looking up to the sky above. There was so much to think about. But all she wanted was to hide, for now, to think of nothing, to feel no pain, to be with Yellow, who’d finally understood. 

  
She remembered Yellow’s head against her legs, Yellow’s voice as she wept for the first time in so long. Blue had to find her. She stood and grabbed the diamond communication device in front of her. She didn’t want to disturb her fellow Diamond’s space, so she opted for sending a written message.

  
‘Yellow. If you want company, I’d love to see you,’ she wrote. Her heart beat. She hadn’t sent such a message in so long. For millennia she had let Yellow come to her, unable to summon any desire to see anyone, glad to see her equal but hurt always by Yellow’s disappointment that she had not got over it already.

  
She erased her message, then wrote again. ‘Yellow, I hope you are okay.’ She stared at it for a while then sighed and let go of the device. She didn’t know how to do this. Finally she picked the device back up and called Yellow.

  
‘Hello? Blue? Is something wrong?’ Yellow was sitting on a white sheet, her legs dipped in water, alone.

  
‘No.’ Blue smiled. ‘Not at all. I was just wondering… if you were alright.’

  
Yellow gave a dry laugh. ‘Just perfect.’ Her features were drawn, her light dimmed. She sighed and covered her eyes. ‘Blue... I’m not in the right state to discuss things right now. I don’t want to h--’ she interrupted herself.

  
‘Yellow,’ Blue said, her eyes fixed on the screen, her whole self pulling towards the other Diamond. ‘I understand. But… if you wish to see me, we could not discuss anything. Not talk all.’

  
‘Then…’ Yellow said, ‘why…?’ She gave a small smile. ‘Right. We don’t need purpose. Fine, yes.’

Moments later, Blue’s huge legs splashed through the Arctic ocean floor. Yellow had fallen backwards onto the ice sheet and was lying motionless. At the sight of her fellow Diamond, burning gold against the white ground, Blue could not help the smile that rose to her lips and lit her eyes.

  
‘What are you so happy about?’ Yellow said.

  
‘You.’ Blue’s grin widened.

  
‘Oh.’ Yellow’s face closed, her jaws tense.

  
Blue’s hand hovered over Yellow’s stomach, before coming back in her own lap. Blue did not know what to say. She had said she would say nothing, so she sat in silence next to her love, her form so bright, her gem full of such a long-forgotten feeling, a feeling that she felt could carry her anywhere. Hope.

  
After some time, not knowing how to reach Yellow, she began to look around. It was a curious part of Earth, that seemed to contain no minerals at all. It was all water, liquid sloshing high against the compacted sheets of itself as a solid. And suddenly, by Yellow’s head, she spotted movement.

  
‘Yellow!’ she said, ‘careful! Look!’ She pointed to the little hole in the white, out of which a curious organic was moving. It poked its head out, looked at Yellow, long dark strands of mustache quivering, blew out some air and disappeared again, leaving only the memory of its dark wet eyes. Blue started laughing, and soon Yellow joined her, the deep gravelly sounds vanishing in the empty landscape. 

  
‘Oh, Blue.’ Yellow’s face contorted in a silent grimace. Her chest heaved and Blue felt something deep beneath them crack. ‘Stars, was it-- this painful for you-- all this time?’ Yellow said through her tears.

  
‘Yellow-- what can I do? It’s so hard to see you like this!’

  
There was a silence, and as their eyes met, they both cracked a smile at this role reversal.

  
Blue held out her hand as Yellow came up. Yellow’s touch was cool, gripping intensely, and as Blue looked at their intertwined fingers she felt a memory push to the front of her. As young Diamonds -- very, very young Diamonds, freshly made, at the dawn of time; when there was only White, the pearls and a few thousand gems; when they were each choosing their first colonies; her and Yellow had spent a lot of time alone, looking out at the galaxies in their control rooms, dreaming. The edges of the memory were vague, but the essence of it was clearly… light, white light that turned green. Their dreams merged. Their selves merged. A single hand pointing to the stars, with so much wonder in their gems.

  
She felt sick. ‘Yellow,’ she said. ‘Yellow, we. We did it. Era Zero.’

  
‘What?’

  
‘I just remembered… I must have buried it…’

  
‘What are you talking about?’

  
Blue unhooked her hand from Yellow’s, moved so they were not touching anymore.

  
‘We fused,’ she whispered, eyes closed.

  
Yellow choked. She raised herself up and stared at Blue. ‘We fused,’ she repeated, her voice hollow.

  
Blue stood. ‘I’m just going to... I can’t…’

  
She walked off, splashing great waves across her path, back to the warp pad.

  
‘Blue!’ Yellow called, knowing she would get no reply.


End file.
